Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29
One of my favorite quotes says, “In life there will be people who throw shade and others who throw confetti—part of growing up is knowing where to stand.”—#RAISEDTOSTAY
We are living in a climate—especially on social media—that has elevated throwing shade to another level. Unfortunately, many who are behind the keyboards are those who profess Jesus.
According to Urban Dictionary, throwing shade is when you act in a casual or disrespectful manner towards someone. Often it is a sneaky or subtle insult or criticism of disapproval.
In the article, How to Debate on Social Media and Not Lose Your Soul, John Pavlovitz writes:
Spend enough time in the virtual world and you will invariably be the target of someone else’s prior hurt and past experiences and lazy stereotypes. Their agendas will not be pure, their methods not admirable, and their goal not conversation but the cheap high of throwing shade in front of a crowd.
Whether on social media or not, we are warned about every careless word we speak. “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks…I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:34–37).
Growing up, my mom used to tell me with some people, I needed to “feed them with a long-handled spoon” which painted a vivid picture of the proximity they should have in my life.
I remember taking her advice with one of my coworkers who started talking negatively about me and walking by me in the hallway without speaking. We were not close friends, but we had each other’s phone numbers. We lived in the same neighborhood, and I had given her a ride home on a few occasions.
One day at work, I asked her if I could talk with her in private. I asked, “What have I done to make you talk negative about me or avoid speaking to me?”
She was speechless. I guess people don’t usually ask someone who talks bad about them or avoids them this question.
With words only the Holy Spirit can help me utter, I then said, “If I’ve ever done anything that has hurt you or done something to cause you to speak negatively about me or avoid even speaking to me, please forgive me”.
As I walked away, I realized people throw shade on what’s shining.
The truth of the matter is in life—everyone is not going to like you, invite you to their events, or even bother to ask how you are.
A good definition for maturity or growing up is knowing you can’t make someone throw confetti or change how they feel about you, but you absolutely can change where to stand.
Life is full of ups and downs. We might not be ready for all that life may throw at us, but God never intended for us to do life alone. He knew we would need people.
Having people in our lives who throw confetti makes life that much more beautiful. Which reminds me—I need to add to my shopping list: purchase more confetti.
Debbie
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